Telepathy
by AwesomePossum123
Summary: River learns how to communicate with the Doctor telepathically, but uses it to her own advantages. Can he survive a 'nice relaxing' dinner with her parents while being bombarded with River's vulgar thoughts? River/11 One-shot.


By some miracle, or, perhaps, some tragedy, the telepathy had worked.

The Doctor gave River a nervous grin as he removed her hands from his temples and she followed his lead. River winked a little before asking, "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" He replied, raising an eyebrow at her flirtatious tone.

"I thought something out loud... It didn't work," She frowned and closed her eyes, focusing on a thought.

"It works a little weird. Eventually, once you get good at it, you can decide which thoughts you want to be private and which ones you want to be public. You can even share images, at some point. Just focus, looking at me may help," The Doctor's lips curved upward when she opened her eyes and stared at him, focusing hard.

"Is this working?" She said, and it took the Doctor's brain a few seconds to register that her lips hadn't moved when she spoke.

"Yes! Brilliant," He replied in his thoughts. How nice it felt to have another presence in his mind again.

River frowned, "This feels a little weird... Are you getting _all_ my thoughts?"

"Nope."

"Good," She thought playfully sticking her tongue out of her mouth.

The tips of his ears instantly turned red. "Why, what are you thinking about?"

"Just... The different ways this could be used."

Now she had his attention. "Such as?"

* * *

"Well this is nice," Amy said, sipping her cup of tea, "I love tea after running from vicious man-eating sheep."

River and her parents, plus the Doctor, were currently sitting in Amy and Rory's house after getting back from an adventure.

Rory nodded agreeably, eyes flickering to the Doctor who hadn't touched his cup. "Don't you want any?"

"Oh, sure," The Doctor jolted upwards in his seat as if waking up from sleeping with his eyes open.

The group was silent for a minute while the Doctor drank his tea and a mischievous smile grew on River's face. "My thoughts disturbing you, sweetie?" She thought to him, sipping her tea quietly.

"It was just... That one about the... You know," He replied, staring at Amy.

"The knickers? Come on, you're what? Nine hundred years old and can't even say the word?" River glanced at him while resisting a grin.

"Your parents are _right_ there!" A warm blush spread across his face as Rory set his tea down and stared at him accusingly.

"Are you two up to something?" Rory demanded out loud in a fatherly manner.

"Of course not," River said before the Doctor could get a word out. "Amy, why don't you tell me what you've been up to lately?"

Amy began her speech that Rory could already predict would be an hour long about some shoes she had bought two days ago that matched this one shirt perfectly. River winked quickly at the Doctor, out of Amy's sight, and thought, "It's not like they can hear us."

"Still... It's... Dirty," He thought the last word with a disgusted tone.

"As dirty as this?" River sent him the image of the both of them naked, kissing each other on a bed. Well, not a bed. Her bed. On the TARDIS. Oh, Rassilon.

"_RIVER!_" He shouted in return.

It took him a little while to realize he had actually shouted her name instead of thinking it like he had intended. Amy stopped mid-story and looked offended to see that neither of them had been paying attention to her interesting tale. Rory glared at the Doctor, "What are you two doing?"

"She's... She sent me it!" He saw Amy and Rory's confused looks and groaned. Suddenly, another image that wasn't his own popped into his head. He and River were once again naked, only this time they were on _his_ very seldom used bed in the TARDIS and how did she even know what that _looked_ like anyways? And, oh, great, there were handcuffs involved.

The Doctor sighed once more in exasperation, "Would you stop?!" He looked back at River's parents. "It's not my fault! She... I... We were naked on the TARDIS!"

Four hands clamped over his mouth at once, two of them his own and two of them River's. She glared at him mischievously and thought, "Way to go sweetie."

"You. Were. WHAT?!" Amy and Rory demanded at the same time. And wow, sometimes the Doctor forgot how scary a Scottish ginger woman and a 2000 year old Roman could be when it came to their daughter's safety.

"Um... Well..." River began trying to explain but gave up as quickly as she started.

Rory put his fingers on his temples, "Look, Doctor." The Doctor raised his head and stared at Rory like a small child about to be punished. Well, compared to Rory he _was_ a small child. And he was definitely about to be punished. "I don't care if you have sex with my daughter."_  
_

"Dad!" River protested, moving her hands from the Doctor's mouth.

"But please _don't_ mention it when we're all having nice tea time together, okay?" The Doctor nodded fervently and set his tea cup down.

River smiled with approval at her father's words and shot the Doctor another image of them in the shower together.

The Time-Lord swallowed and his eyes widened. "I think we'll just head down to the TARDIS now... Rather quickly..." He grabbed River's arm and forcefully yanked her away from the kitchen table, the silverware rattling in reply. The couple quickly walked towards the door only to hear the call from Amy in the kitchen.

"Use a condom!"

* * *

**A/N:** Wrote this on a whim and decided to post it. Please tell me what you think! :)


End file.
